Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Christmas Miracle in the Making

  There is a bill sitting on President Obama's desk right now. I am pretty sure that is not unusual. However, this bill is unusual. The NDAA  bill, on it's face, is just a defense appropriations bill. Well in this day and age, we need a military unit, and we need to pay for it. So that is really not anything to get all worked up about.

 Here is the problem. Those rat bastards in the congress are always adding some stupid crap to necessary bills. This practice has been going on ad infinitum for years. It annoys the  people they serve, but they do it anyways. They write up a law to do anything in D.C., and the next thing you know there is a funding attached to it for scuba diving lessons in Malaysia.

 What I cannot credit, is how this foolishness is allowed to continue. NDAA was drafted by Senator Carl Levin, a democrat from Michigan and Senator John McCain, a republican from Arizona in a closed door comittee. Now, a bill to pay for our military expenses is an admirable thing for our senators to finally agree on and get taken care of. If only we had better senators.

 There is a lot of transparency missing here. Time to get on My Trusty Tin Foil Hat. There were no open hearings regarding the drafting of this bill. There was very little media communication about this bill. On the face of it, that would be ok. I mean really, who wants to read about how many toothbrushes we are gonna need to buy for the guys on the USS Enterprise?  But this time, our senators were really incompetent, or else they are really sneaky. I cannot say which is true.
Either way, I would like to take a giant boot to their asses.

 In the language of the bill is something that is just incredible. America, we are so hosed. The bill states, that the president may detain and imprison US citizens indefinitely without trial. HUH ? Who thought that was a good idea ?  All you have to do is be suspected of terrorism. Well, you may be thinking, I am not a terrorist so it does not affect me. Not so. I just threatened to take a giant boot to the asses that wrote this thing, as a result, it could be me. A middle aged, pissed-off mother with one child in the US Navy and one in college. Some one, who has never even gotten a DUI. Yeah.... there were a few parking tickets.

  I see it going down like this:

 Special forces swarm my small town in a camo-colored Humvee caravan. Seal Team Six blows down my door with C4 weapons-grade explosives. They catch me in my  yellow flannel nightgown and my fuzzy green slippers. I am eating a bowl of Ben & Jerry's, Schweddy Ball's flavored ice cream.
They throw me down on the carpet, point an M16 to my head and handcuff me.( I woulda vaccumed if I had known I was getting company.) Then they drag me out into my yard, with my neighbors watching and a Black Hawk helicopter swirling overhead. That gossipy Mrs Davis tells Old Man Peterson "yeah I always thought she was a terrorist."

 Next thing I know, I am in a grey cinder block room. I am tied to a chair, with bare light bulb hanging over my head. The CIA interrogators are asking me who else is involved in my plot to install giant boots into the asses of incompetent senators. I tell them, "I was smart enough to think of it all on my own" but they don't believe me. They investigate my friends and my 70 year old mother. They decide that my mother could be a risk. She is a "known associate of mine" and she spends a lot of time on her IPhone. They are not convinced she is really playing Words With Friends.

 So I get sent to a prison camp, with no legal recourse and no Kindle. Indefinitely. Ugh... kill me now.
 I cannot live without my Kindle.

 The outrage over this bill, is causing something of a stir.

 Even the Tea Party seems to be upset about it. I cannot understand how easily this pile of suck, and abridgment of basic civil rights has gotten by all of us. Twitter streams regarding NDAA are lighting on fire. President Obama said he would not sign it. Then he reversed his position. There are last minute petitions flying all over the web, begging him to reconsider. Most civil rights groups are unable to speak coherently, they are so shocked.  We don't know how this is all going to end.  I admit, I am very concerned. If a bill is bad enough for the left to want to work with the right, you know it is a really bad idea. That is the "Christmas Miracle" that no one saw coming.

 As for me, I will miss hearing from all of you.
I am not sure I will be able to get mail in Guantanamo.

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